I don’t think I’m meant to have a family but before you think this is melodrama stemming from a fight with my father just hear me out, I have some foundation to my claim.
I’ll leave out the childhood abuse and abandonment, that’s a cheap shot to my theory and pointless if I’m saying she’s not my family—and she’s not. Despite my family being filled with drugs, rapists, molesters, incest, pedophilia, what else could you imagine, place that here, I’m sure it belongs too. Anyway, the point is that as I stem away from the Little Shop of Whorrors, other families hate me too.
So why does the prospect of eating amongst others put me on edge and make me want to kill everyone in sight? Annihilation—it’s just something I don’t understand about myself. Logically, sure, it’s sound. Theoretically, well I’m not even sure what I mean here. I wish the application of this vice weren’t seen as such and though it’s not a virtue I wish it were recognized as something similar to what it actually is. As if.
I also wonder if other people have normal families. I wonder if people have moms. I wonder if people can be around their family and feel safe, safest even. I wonder if that’s possible.
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